Welcome to an issue of TSN Investigates. This is your host, Shiver.
Following a scandal which may suggest Elmikey is actually a fellow named Kyle Cease in disguise, rage in RPF has reached an all-time high.
When the bitchraging by the RPF troops concluded, Elmikey made a rare press release. The following was taken by a CPAC reporter on the scene (since of course I’m banned there.)
Nacho drones flying over Tuxedo have noticed an increased amount of cement mixers and flatbed trucks driving around. Our ACP correspondents have noted increased imports of brick, mortar, and cement purchased by Lord Pain himself. Now what does this mean?
I don’t fucking know, but maybe it means they’re actually building a wall around their cities. Why, may you ask? Take a look at the above picture. It suggests it’s because of CPAC.
Gee, CPAC is so anti-RPF considering they fixed the Top 10 for them and made their 23-year-old dictator creator Commando a board member (not that the board actually means shit anymore.) RPF has held several anti-CPAC rallies in the past month, complaining about RPF’s ranking and how CPAC is pointless (sure didn’t happen when RPF got 1st.)
Former ACPSIS head and current RPF HORNET agent Snaily5 has made comment on the situation:
Oh! It seems they’re STILL not happy about their Top 10 placement being fixed. I wouldn’t be surprised if their Top 10 ranking was switched just to end the bullshit raging. We at CPAC are getting pretty used to RPF complaining and threatening about shit they don’t like, especially scandals (bet RPF wouldn’t be complaining if a Puckley scandal was posted.)
Lets go back to those accusations of Elmikey being Kyle Cease. Now here’s his official press statement concerning the situation:
Now, this can mean one thing or another. This can mean Elmikey has not realized the difference between positive and negative attention. It can also mean Elmikey is willing to whore himself out to the media to get his slave train army publicity. What we can infer through this is that Elmikey is not denying the possibility that he is Kyle Cease.
Also, Elmikey is firmly convinced that RPF is the only CP army. I’m pretty convinced myself, actually.
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Apparently RPF created CP recruiting? How revolutionary!
Ok, I’m done with that subject. I’ll continue on about Lord Pain, RPF’s new pain in the ass (no pun intended.) If you don’t know who Lord Pain is, I’ll let you know hes the world champion of being fired. Critics have compared him to Mao Zedong and Kim Jong-il due to his harsh policies and forced labor techniques. Nacho spies in RPF have taken the following pictures of his antics. The following have been borrowed from the Nacho site:
As you can see, Lord Pain continues the tradition of overworking his troops and refusing to let them stop throwing snowballs. This is not a shocker, as there have been claims of a troop in GT being fired for having a tennis match. It has been confirmed that he forced GT to stay online until they got 20 (it took 2 hours and 10 minutes.) It sure feels edgy exposing the slave labor tactics of RPF. It’s not like ACP or any of those armies actually care unless it’s the Nachos doing it.
As you can see, RPF is conducted through both noobiness and oppression. The RPF have no grounds to base their argument on, unlike most of TSN’s post. So, if you’re a smart person, don’t join RPF. If you’ve already been tricked into joining RPF, I encourage you to leave as soon as possible.
This has been an issue of TSN Investigates.
The Stale Nacho 