fuk u

this one goes out to all the nacho fucks.

fuk u. eat a cock.

Thank you for your time, see you next time!

-Marcin

Nacho Army Apparently No Longer LGBTQ+ Friendly

Is this really what Nachos have come to? This lowlife shit?

Alright, personally, I really don’t give any fucks about Nachos or anything CP army related, but what the fuck is this shit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such pathetic fuckstick owners in Nacho history since me, or maybe YoAngelYo (Yoan).

So, casually, I went onto Nachos’ chat cause I’m bored as fuck, and I witness some close-minded bullshit that should not be tolerated for a Nacho owner or any Nacho troop in general. Sure, you’re entitled to your opinion, but if your opinion is absolute shit, then you deserve the need to kill yourself.

Accurate depiction of CowboyDan’s views on homosexuality on my brand new shoe.

And like the good little reporter person that I am, here are the screenshots of Dan being a fucking incompetent piece of shit that should be removed from ownership. And that Nitro guy, fuck him too because he’s a dumbass.

I have no idea who the hell this guy is, but fuck him. Get rid of him.

If there’s anything that I know, it’s that these two shits should not be in power in the Nacho Army. There is no need for pieces of shit. So just remember, if you’re LGBTQ+ or a normal open-minded kid/teen, then you’re not welcome in Nachos. Sorry pals.

-Marcin

Reporters Wanted Por Favor

Um, yeah. I feel like people still want TSN to still be a thing, but frankly, we need people that want to create satirical and humorous content for our enjoyment. If any of you mention Shiver, y’all can fuck right off.

So, uh, just submit a humorous submission in that ‘Apply for TSN‘ page and I’ll publish that shit and then in the end, everyone will vote and whatnot. Be sure to include your name and shit when you submit. You can be anonymous or not if you want, Marcin don’t give a fuck.

Go nuts, pals.
-Marcin

IDK and IDGAF

Aqua Does God’s Work on Nacho Chat

Hiya, it’s ya boy Marcin here.

I think it’s kinda been figured out that I only make posts when shit really goes down for the Nachos, and today that just happened.

Former Nacho leader (and current whoreslut), Emily, came onto the Nacho chat today to stir up a ruckus for some much needed attention that Danny (current whoreslut’s boyfriend) himself just couldn’t fulfill. If any of you may recall, Emily quit the army and stormed off by calling the Nacho troops  “cancers”. Why she came back onto the chat would seem to be a wonder to us then, knowing how she feels about us all. Yet, we all know her life revolves on attention due to her excessive narcissism.

Some Nachos decided she needed to be banned for being a traitor and trying to cause a fight. To which Emily said she wasn’t doing anything besides talking. But if you could just recall back to my last post, she would do the same thing with retirees when she had power. Funny, I know. You can’t treat people like shit and expect them to treat you as an equal, silly fucktard, it just doesn’t work like that.

So, here’s the part where I insert pictures to make this post seem cooler and to validate my point: (sorry the pictures are small, too lazy to make them bigger)

Aqua lays down the law on Emily. God’s work, Aqua, God’s work.

Truly she makes a solid point. If you don’t like a chat, why would you go to it other than to start a fight and to get attention? We see right through you, Emily.

Whining because people don’t like you. That’s cute.

Shockingly, banning people who didn’t praise you isn’t going to win you any respect.

Shout out to Aqua for being able to say something, I like that.

So Emily, if by chance you do read this post (and I’m sure you will cause TSN is just the most popular site ever, I’m aware), try not to be such an attention-seeking shit. I know it’s difficult for you, but try giving it a chance. You might just laugh this off or take it to heart, I really don’t give a shit. But look from someone else’s perspective, and maybe you can see why people don’t like you. You could do it if you weren’t so busy having Danny trying to protect you from every little thing ever.

Thank you.

Hey Shiv

I’m gay

Thanks.

Your pal,
Marcin

The Bitches of Nachos Can’t Control The Amount of Carrots In Their Assholes

Well, well, well. I haven’t made a post here in a while, maybe cause this place is kind of dead and yeah. But anyways, it’s been brought to my attention recently how fucking butthurt the Nacho ownership has become. Mainly speaking of Emily, Laoise, and Wolfie.

When you first think of Nacho chat, what do you think of? Swearing? More mature people? Actual fun? If you said yes to any or all three of these things, you’re wrong at this point. You see, the ownership has recently shoved multiple carrots up their assholes and have banned basically all three of those things. You can’t have fun with your friends, saying they’re a cunt or anything for that matter, because it might hurt someone’s feelings, and that must be stopped. Honestly, they’re acting like the adults of America who say everyone must be a winner, and that simply isn’t the case.

The fact that Emily has put ‘Nacho Army Mommy’ in her name just basically proves how shitty the Nachos have become. What kind of 14-15 year old cunt has to label herself as the ‘mommy’ of one of the best CP armies of all time? Let’s not forget how she loves to send nudes to other people besides her boyfriend, her narcissism loves the attention.

Following in her path, Laoise, who has literally only been in Nachos for a few months, has taken a few too many carrots inside her period blood-infused asshole, as she is now an owner. Their rules do not apply to themselves, only to everyone else, to ensure it’s never their fault. I mean, just take a look at this, I got banned for being warned after I’ve already said something, beautiful, isn’t it?

 

Logic doesn’t suit the Nachos well anymore. And breaking news as I’m reporting this, Nachos 3rd in Command, Bubbagum, has basically just proved exactly what I’ve been saying about how big of pussies the Nacho owners really are:

Come on, is it really that easy for 13+ year olds to feel upset on the internet. All of this began when Camperjohn64 threatened to send a serial killer to Emily’s online boyfriend (cause let’s be real, all they do is masturbate with each other, it’s not a real relationship), Danny, and he feel so scared for his life because a teenager threatened him over the internet, like it’s never been done before. As the owners used to always say, “If you feel uncomfortable by someone, just ignore them.” Shockingly, this case doesn’t apply to the teenagers who can’t retrieve the carrots from their assholes who have ‘virtual power.’

Shockingly, once the Nacho owners are to read this, I will surely be banned for life because I hurt their precious feelings a little too hard. But really, grow up. Get the fuck off the computer if you’re going to cry because someone said a swear on the internet. It will never fucking change. Thanks.

-Marcin

 

 

TSN Presents: TSN Cup 2013

As a news site, finding scandals and secrets to success is no easy task. So the TSN staff and I have decided to host a CP Army tournament called TSN Cup (creative, right? Thank you.) Armies of all size can enter, but please, don’t enter your shitty 1 man army into this. TSN Cup will be mainly large/medium size-oriented.

Now, you’re probably asking what’s the catch? Well there is none! Although we’re a hilarious news site, we’re also pretty underground, y’know? Hipsters and shit. So our prizes are:

• A picture of a trophy stolen from some website with your army’s name on it (Woo!)
• Your army’s banner on our sidebar forever
• A box of Attends bariatric briefs (diapers.) Optional.

As you can see, these are pretty tempting rewards for winning a tournament. So don’t miss out on your chance to receive ’em! Make no delay, sign your army up in the comment section below by answering these questions:

1. Army Name?
2. Website to Army?
3. Average Size?

Answer those questions and you’re in, hopefully. Brackets will be made after the armies enter. We’re hoping for 16 armies at least. 8 armies at minimum..

If you enter your army, good luck and check back in a few days for the Round 1 times and battles.

***Registration Closes on August 1st, 2013***

Registered armies:

Lime Green Army

Water Ninjas

Water Vikings

Watex Warriors

Heat Warriors

Chaos

Soda Pop Army

Underground Mafias Army

How To Apply For TSN

Well since it’s a slow news day (and by ‘slow’ I mean we didn’t write a post for today), I figure I might as well post this instead of some entertaining news.

Due to have basically 1-2 applicants that wanted to apply for TSN, I’ve just decided to have a ‘Help Wanted’ thing going on.

One of our pages will be called ‘Apply For TSN’ and there you can submit your post for the world to see. (Aside from the fact an author/admin on site will have to post it.) Here’s just a few guidelines for our future applicants:

• Your posting name will be anonymous, unless you specify you don’t want anonymity.
• Like our previous applicant post, readers will vote if they want you to join TSN or not. (voting closes after 48 hours)
• You can apply whenever you want, unless we decide we have enough staff.

Now, here’s some pointers to making a like-able post, since you’re gonna need it to make it here at TSN:

• Be humorous, making people laugh out loud is good
• Use pictures, they make your post brighter/colorful (Witty captions are a plus)
• Don’t drag on, we don’t need a long post, just something short and sweet.
• Use proper grammar, we don’t accept someone with 2nd grade English skills.

I hope that covers it all, if I miss something, feel free to leave a comment. If you have any questions, ask one of the staff on Xat or again, just leave a comment here.

Applicant Results

Be sure to read Shiver’s post right under this one!

This is just a quick post for a brief announcement. After two days of people reading out applicant’s post, the results are in.

Sorry for the small image, click it to make it bigger in a separate tab.

Sorry bud, you just didn’t make the cut. It happens. Your effort is what counts.

To the shits that keep bashing on him: Fuck off, I would LOVE to see you do better. Respect for our applicants/writers/etc. is a top priority here at TSN. Your shit-spewing is not welcome.

That is all. Thank you.