Guide: How to pick up females (on Xat)

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Response to RPF Faily

Look, you can criticize TSN, but this is a fucking insult. Take a look:

Quite obviously, what the fuck do we have here? Oh, just another TSN ripoff. Not like I’m seeing them every fucking day now.  But this is an insult to TSN, wait no, an insult to WordPress itself. Pathetic, right? If anything, this is a CPWN copy. Maybe even a Kingfunks-era CPAC ripoff. But thats not my point. Moving on…

The grammar is so atrocious, I nearly forgot an entire 2 years of AP English. Not only does it try to be cynical like me, but it also takes the shit seriously. For example, it talks about CP battles. Yes, fucking CP battles. Look, I’ll go to CPAC or SMAC (yeah right) for news on a fucking CP army battle. That aside, let me go on one of my rare chat Nazi tirades.

Look, I’m not even going to bother going over the grammar. That would be a longer rant than the Lord of the Rings. I’m going to bitch about the style of writing. You sound like a goddamned Positively ACP reporter, except you think you’re badass or something by trying to be edgy with the word ‘fuck.’  Look, just don’t try.

The propaganda is even worse. We at least try to satirize our bias. But you go around and just spit out unsubstantiated bias, like some ACP general trying to flaunt around his 10-troop army to impress Boomer or Shab. Or Elmikey, trying to convince his troops that they don’t multilog or use autotypers during battle and that they’re actually going to win an uphill battle after losing all their one-day troops. You’re also assuming the Nachos are losing this war, when you have to make up stupid ass clauses just to claim victory, such as staying on 2 hours and your “advisor” Commando717 proposing 2 hour battles even though he does not have to go through the absolute horror and boredom of logging on fucking Club Penguin for even 5 minutes. Seriously.

Oh, I’m going to continue on the last paragraph. Yeah. You also didn’t mention how Elmikey ran to us and begged us for a ceasefire (which we ceremoniously declined.) You also aren’t mentioning how Elmikey is covering up all the losses and pathetic performances by the RPF, either tagging them as “Unscheduled” or not posting them at all. I have yet to hear any shit-talking now that RPF lost 1st place on CPAC’s Top 10. You call us “corrupt bastards?” Yeah, ok.

My next point is unfortunately the most disturbing and possibly brain cell-endangering one out there. Out of the nearly 2 zettabytes of memory that exist on the internet, not one other statement has caused me the same grief as this one. “

DA NATCHOEZ MUTILOG’D N FILLED UP ARTIC!!!1!!oneone!!1!one!11!”

wat

I’m not even going to try to explain how thats disturbing. I’m not even going to try to counter the author’s claim that the Nachos only have 4 real troops. Even if this is satire, this is some of the worst and most fucking scatterbrained shit that could possibly grace my knowledge of the English language. I’m just going to make one final maxim, one final request, one plea.

Don’t try to copy TSN. Please.

Also, I wish Elmikey and the rest of the RPF troops good luck in ACP or wherever the fuck they’re going after RPF shits itself.

Also, RPF:

The TSN Grindhouse

Now that ACP tensions are getting higher and the RPF posts are getting boring, I present you with some hardcore pornos, I mean grindhouse films, produced by our own Oberst451 or whatever the fuck numbers he has in his name.

Oh, and heres another film. A sequel, of sorts.

Remember, subscribe to this asshole.

This has been a TSN Grindhouse video special.