fuk u

this one goes out to all the nacho fucks.

fuk u. eat a cock.

Thank you for your time, see you next time!


Categories: Cultural Learnings, Don't Get Your Panties in a Bunch, how babies are made, I'm Rich, Idk, Secrets To Success, TSN Report | 4 Comments

Nacho Leader says he doesn’t want recruits from shithole servers

Nacho leader, Johnsongresh, stated earlier today that he doesn’t want recruits from shithole safe chat servers. He also stated that everyone should buy his uncle’s book “The fish of the Great Lakes”.


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This Is Colonel John Penguin… Nacho Empire Army

Attempted evacuation of Fjord ended in complete failure…death toll…too many.

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(FJORD) Early today, in the face of impending doom, many people came out into the streets to riot for one last time. Multiple outlawed Bot programs have been deployed by protesters and police alike as they clash for the last time. Inserted is the live thread of event.

4:51 PM: First reports of a bar fight in Shiver’s Sex Club 7’s drink section. This was presumably between two gentlemen arguing over the Legends’ Cup Controversy.

4:52 PM: Units of the FPD (Fjord Police Department) arrive to resolve the fight. Several bar attendees joined in to repel the assault by the Police force, joining into the streets in a march for Freedom in the last hours of the world existing.

4:54 PM: Shaboomboom of the Democratic Republic of the Army of CP was spotted nude in his tub while being carried by protesters. He was reportedly eating Ice Cream.

5:00 PM: The Protesters led by Former Nacho Leader Shiver, reached the center of Fjord City. One Mr Veo was reportedly masturbating in the middle of this- why no one told the man to get clothes is a mystery that won’t be solved within the next 17 hours.

5:10 PM: Facing no option and low morale within the Nachoian C.A.T. Division and with many other allied nation-armies deceased, the Upper Nacho Empire Administration authorizes the use of reversed engineered Bots formed from the Purple Republic’s Invasion Bots from the PR invasions of 2011. The Bots are deployed from S.A.L.S.A class transport carriers of the Nachoian Military. May god have mercy on their souls.

5:12 PM: The Crowd falls back in the face of overwhelming force, but a force of makeshift bots quickly turned the tide in favor of the crowd.

5:13 PM: The CPAC reporter building; though mostly abandoned at the time is set on fire. No tears were shed by Light Troop Refugees.

5:15 PM: Lord Pain, arriving with a massive hoard of stashed Joke Bombs docks at Fjord’s Habour area. He has not posted demands.

5:16 PM: A man named Rockstar was brutally burned at the stake after being accused of being a Botcontroller.

5:20 PM: Prior to Lord Pain initiating his Demands, ACP veterans Slider and Shaboomboom wearing Roman uniforms gave a piggy-back ride to IW Legend IceyFeet to detonate the Joke bombs prior to being delivered into the city. They all simultaneously jumped onto the bombs to shield away the blast of the terrible Jokes. May their sacrifice be remembered.

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The Stale Nacho has been declared “certified stale”, files for bankruptcy

(Klondike) After years of degradation in its staff and content, The Stale Nacho Corporation (TSNC) has filed for a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. The corporation will now be formally repossessed as an arm of the Nacho State Media. The Stale Nacho will continue operations until March 29th when it gets repossessed by the Nacho Empire Central Government. TSN reached out to Nachoian officials who declined to comment on the situation.

Reaction to the news has been a universal uproar at the closing of the TSN. RPF leader Silverburg implied in his interview that the Freedom of the Media was at stake. When asked about his reaction he replied “FREEDOM OF THE MEDIA” as his only response. He then ran off to an unknown location where our intrepid reporters could not find him.

TSN will continue providing its standard services within the next few weeks.


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Sacrifices by Volcano instituted in Klondike

Klondike- After news that an impending solar flare will wipe out all life in the world- Army leaders have resorted to appeasing their various gods of worship to save their greatest army for the afterlife.

A small army leader- who wished to be anonymous had the following to say

“If we sacrifice some of the noobs of the community- and maybe that idiot from the comment section, our God will send us into the next life known as CPPS”

Although some are attempting to appease their gods, other are resigned to upcoming apocalypse that is tentatively scheduled for March 29th while others use the remaining time to settle old scores.

” Instead of going home and spending time with my friends and family- I’m gonna sink that goddamn smug ass iceberg off the island.” said Buritodaily, Former leader of the Army Republic. “That iceberg had it coming for years”

The Klondike Police Department has issued an initial statement condemning any sacrifices, though they have not have posted any officers at the sacrificial sites.

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((((CPAC)))) = Fake News

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New Logo


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Nacho Army Chat Reset Following Bot Ownership Takeover

CPA Central

screenshot_6BREAKING NEWS: Former Nacho Leader, Puckley breaks major road law by texting and driving as he prepares to get the chat back. FBI are reported to be following him.

FJORD, Nacho Army Empire – The Nacho Army’s official chat was recently thrown into chaos upon the chat being taken over by the Nacho Army’s bot seeing many troops getting banned on the popular chat room.

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BREAKING: Nacho Leader Forces Soldiers to Vote for Hillary Clinton

Just another example of how this election is rigged…


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